The 6 year old girl on the street selling bubble gum looked lonely and desperate. When asked about her family she said they were in Afghanistan and doesn’t have any contact with them…

Remember how you were safe with your parents when you were 6, how life was just play and school and not just survival day in and out? Feeling it? If you aren’t feeling it thinking you see them everyday and now you have gotten used to these pitiful sights, then something is wrong with you… You have no empathy…

Empathy, a noun which means the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another. Ability to see someone else’s perspective ability to feel what someone else is feeling, ability to walk in someone else’s shoes. Empathy is a human feeling which every human must have in order to understand each other what each one is going through every one experiences different backgrounds, cultures,  problems etc.

Sympathy and Empathy: Knowing the difference between empathy and sympathy might be difficult for some people, because the difference between them is small. For example: if your friends’ father dies due to a car accident, you feel sympathy for her because you can imagine it must be very difficult for her to deal with this, but by losing your own father in a car accident you learn how hard it is to lose a loved one. This is empathy.

A muslim has a greater responsibility than a mere human, a muslim not just has to feel and understand a person’s position but also be generous, sympathize and also try to help the person out of their difficulty. The Prophet said, “the similitude of believers in regard to mutual love, affection, fellow-feeling is that of one body; when any limb of it aches, the whole body aches, because of sleeplessness and fever.”  (Sahih Muslim) The metaphor of the body is remarkable because the limbs are all connected and not disconnected. Compassion, love and care are not necessarily present, but we have to develop them and show them towards each other. We should work very hard to achieve this.

Similarly, in the Hadith Qudsi, we learn that on the Day of Judgment Allah will say, “O son of Adam, I fell ill and you did not visit me.” The person will say,” O Lord, how could I visit you when You are the Lord of the worlds?” He will say, “Did you know that so-and-so fell ill and you did not visit him? If you had visited him, you would have found Me with him.”

People who don’t feel empathy are narcissistic individuals; individuals consumed with pride and self-love… They cannot put themselves in the shoes of another person. Also those who have chosen to focus on aql (intelligence/knowledge of reason) at the expense of the knowledge that is felt and pursued by the heart.

So we need to keep our heart clean of all these evils so that Islamic knowledge and positive emotions fill our heart. The higher the level of our iman the higher the level of empathy and compassion.

One of the reasons we fast, is to feel what the starving people feel. In the times of major calamities like disasters we need to empathize with the people and help them as if  we were in their place; how much would we expect from people who are well off and safe. But again not only for muslims but our empathy is needed for the non-muslims as well, in times of their difficulties. Also think about how much dawah would you need if you were them, how much they need your knowledge to reach to them so they would be saved from hell. If only they knew that your knowledge of Islam will do them good then how desperate would they be for you to find them.

In order to be empathetic we need to juxtapose our situation with theirs, this will help us to see how our problems seem to be smaller in scale than theirs. Be Empathetic, Be Compassionate.

So to be a better human and the best in character we need to be empathetic, try to be empathetic in you daily life and see the difference of how people see you. For example console a friend in difficulty with kind words and showing that you are deeply concerned by their situation. This will make a huge difference in their lives as they will know that their muslim brother is there for them in times of difficulty.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The most perfect of the believers in faith is he who is the best of them in conduct, and the best of you in conduct are those who are best to their wives.” [Tirmidhi]

To be the best to one’s wife, one must be able to empathise with her. One must feel her pains, and happiness, in order to care for her in the best manner and be compassionate towards her.

We need to understand each person by their situation and not just by assuming things on our own. We need to really know what is going on before coming to any conclusions.  Look how many people around us talk about one another and how people have their opinions ready regarding others without having taken any effort to get to know the person first. The Islamic society is preoccupied with external appearance, while neglecting the inner side.

With Empathy should comes compassion , but we see people sitting in a gathering but not even greeting the people they don’t know let alone asking each other how they are doing as a fellow muslim. If we are compassionate, we need to show it as well. In general, everyone feels compassion but many keep it measured. Some feel compassion towards people but not towards animals. Others only feel compassionate towards people from their own country or religious group. Many seem to draw lines somewhere. Compassion requires us to make sacrifices, to invest in order to create the softness and kindness so we can use this in our efforts towards others.

“There is nothing heavier than good character put on the scales of a believer on the day of resurrection.” (Abu Daawood)

Everything around us changes. Are we changing for the better?

Fatima Damad