I had an easy childhood. A happy child I was alhamdulillah. When I was in my 10th standard, (15 years of age), I made my first muslim friend- Zinobia. She was everything I thought a muslim would never be- soft spoken, kind, patient, emotional, sophisticated and humorous. SubhanAllah.

As we began talking, I was surprised how soon we became very fast friends. Often I would ask her about Islam. Why was it so tainted? And why islam, why had no other religion earned such a bad reputation? I asked about oppression of women, polygamy, unfair inheritance rights to women, unfair divorce rights, jihad and all the common questions that I find people now asking me.

Alhamdulilah, she was very patient with me. At times I would disagree and again at times I would argue to satisfy my nafs. Deep within I knew most of her explanations were correct.  However, soon she had to move to another city due to her father’s work. We stayed in touch through phone and internet. I kept reading more about Islam and she continued sending me ayats from the Qur’an.

Such conversations continued, till practically and logically I was convinced that Islam did make a lot of sense. Jesus (peace be upon him) as a Messenger of God sounded more logical and suddenly the idols in my house started seeming lifeless. Why would man even worship clay idols? It did not take a lot of effort to know that if there had to be a religion at all, it would have to be Islam. I knew, a person could either be a Muslim or an atheist. I believed in one God and I had no doubt that Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon Him) is the last messenger.

It was just another day when we were chatting online. I don’t exactly remember the conversation or everything that happened. Our brain works in a weird way, I feel. Perhaps, there was so much going on in my mind that it has been majorly erased. All I remember is gathering courage to finally accept that “her religion” was right. I remember giving my Shahadah. I remember crying in the shower to realise that there was no turning back from here.

Soon, I learnt my first surah – Surah Al Fatiha, I prayed my first salah in a short skirt! That was then and today when as I walk in my hijab, and remember that day, Alhamdulillah I felt Allah (May He be Glorified)’s mercy and blessings. I don’t know what I did to deserve being amongst the chosen ones.

I must admit that my journey after that was not void of mistakes, sins or pain. But, did I think I would say I believe and I wouldn’t be tested? I faced my days and years of low imaan. Days when shaytaan and my nafs overpowered me, when I believed ‘it was too difficult for me’ or ‘we will see in future’. Days when I wanted to enjoy a song, watch a movie, be amongst the rich and flaunt good clothes. There were days when I felt proud, when I was rude and harsh. Audhubillah (I seek refuge in Allah)! I learnt Arabic, read the Qur’an but missed its essence. I stopped striving. Yet, Allah, Glorified is He, was patient with me. He (Glorified is He), gave me another chance.

After my graduation (7 years after my shahadah), I was suddenly left alone. The so called good friends I made were gone into their own lives. I was back at home, looking for work and getting none. Every plan for career failed. I was suddenly made to feel worthless. Suddenly I felt my 7 years were but a waste. I knew the truth, yet turned by back to it. I turned. Yet again. SubhanAllah. I started reading, striving for knowledge. In the months that came, I learnt more than I had in the 7 years. I strived for my Maker. I listened to His words. I tried to understand His Noble Revelation. I tried to know about His Prophet (Peace be upon him) and Alhamdulillah, I was in love. Love that is so pure in its essence. Love that is everlasting and that never hurts.

Till date, I am striving and learning. I know I am being tested at every step and I hope that I am able to earn Allah’s pleasure. Today, nothing makes me happier than meeting a practising muslimeen and nothing makes me sadder than seeing the ummah go astray.

May Allah (Glorififed is He) always grant us forgiveness and mercy. Ameen

Misha,