There are some misconceptions that have been spread about women and their rights in Islam. These misconceptions were not meant for individual women themselves, but rather as an attack on Islam in particular. People who raise such misconceptions aim mainly to distort the beautiful picture of women in Islam. Women, throughout the past fourteen centuries of Islam, have been honoured, respected, cherished and dignified. One of the misconceptions raised about women in Islam, is the issue of polygamy.

Polygamy is marriage to more than one wife. It is a continuation of the practice established and practiced in previous religions. It is a practice as old as history itself. All previous religions practiced polygamy. The Old Testament and the Bible are at the top of the list of the Divine Books that stated such a practice and legalized it. Many previous Prophets (Peace be upon them), before Prophet Mohammad entered into plural marriages. Prophet Abraham had two wives. Prophet Jacob also had four wives and Prophet Solomon had many wives. Therefore, we notice that plural marriage, as an issue, is not a new practice attributed to Islam alone. It is indeed an old practice, as old as the history of man on Earth.

The Main Conditions for Polygamy in Islam

1-Justice and Equality

As Allah the Almighty permitted polygamy, He stipulated and pre-conditioned justice and fairness in treatment, avoiding injustice and wrong practices against all wives. Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

"He who has two wives and does not treat them equally with justice and fairness will come paralyzed (with one side slanted) on the Day of Judgment."

Justice and fairness, in this context, applies to material things such as expenditure, fair division of wealth, gifts, time, etc. As for emotional matters, such as love and inclination towards one wife over the other, it is recognized that man has no authority or control over his heart and emotions. Feelings and emotions are involuntary; therefore one is not to be blamed for them. ‘Aishah, the mother of believers and the wife of Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) was reported as saying “Allah’s Messenger distributed everything justly amongst his wives; yet after all, he used to say, “O Allah! This is the fair way of dividing what I possess amongst my wives. O Allah! Blame me not for what You alone possess while I do not.” Meaning absolute justice, the heart, feelings and emotions of a man.

2-Ability to Afford another Household

If a man knows for sure that he is financially incapable of affording another wife and another household, he is not entitled to seek another marriage. A husband is not allowed to exceed four wives at any given time. 

We would like to point out some of the factors and elements that often urge men to seek another marriage. We need to examine whether polygamy in itself is a good or an evil practice in the society. We also would like to know whether such a practice is good or bad for the wife, and whether it is in her interest or against it.

1- If a woman is sterile, and the husband is interested in having children, what is best for the wife in such a case: to be divorced for no sin or crime (and become a burden on herself and the society if she cannot earn and there is nobody to support her financially), or to remain in the household of her husband in addition to his other wife? Naturally, to stay in a plural marriage would be the better of the two options. 

2- If a wife is chronically ill and she cannot perform her marital duties, what is better in her case: to be divorced, or to become a second wife where she is perfectly honoured, cared for and provided for by her husband? Again, in such an instance, a woman’s rights are maintained by this system of polygamy.

3- Some men are sexually demanding. One wife may not be able to fulfil the lawful sexual desire of her husband. Or, if the menstrual period or after-birth-confinement period is especially longer than normal, or she has no lawful sexual desire to match that of the husband, what is better for both husband and wife, in such a case? Is it lawful for the man to seek unlawful sexual satisfaction somewhere else outside the marriage, or to acquire another lawful wife who keeps him chaste? Polygamy provides a solution to both parties and a lawful means of fulfilling one’s desires. 

4- There is no doubt that repeated international and civil war in various parts of the world has taken its toll on men. Moreover, the prison system has restrained many men from marriage. Thus, the number of ‘available’ females in most countries is more than males. The best example of this is the First World War and the Second World War, which claimed the lives of large numbers of men who participated in the fighting. Statistics say that there were more than twenty million men killed during these wars. Therefore, if every man had only one wife, what is the destiny of the women who do not get a fair share of lawful marriage to satisfy their needs? Should such women seek to satisfy their sexual desires in unlawful ways like adultery, fornication, and lesbian activities or else? Truly, also, the abundance of women without husbands, or males to care for them, helped spread corruption and illegitimate sexual activities in the society. As a consequence of war also, there are many widows, divorcees and old maids in many societies. For such women in this case, to remain single is to suffer all the consequences of life and its demanding needs. To accept to be a second wife with an honest, protective, honourable and chaste man on the other hand, provides a safe haven.

One may ask, "If we permit polygamy for men, why it is not permitted for women as well!"

The answer to this question is as follows: Full equality between men and woman in polygamy is impossible due to natural and physical reasons, as we will explain.

1-Physically: Man, in virtually most societies of the world, has the authority over the household. For the sake of discussion: if a woman has two or more husbands, who will have the authority and leadership of the house? Yet, again, whose desires shall the woman fulfil, the first or the second man? It is definitely impossible for a woman to fulfil all the men’s desires, needs and requests. If the woman preferred one over the other, all will be angry and upset.

2-Naturally: A woman can only become pregnant once a year, if any. She can get pregnant by one man only. But, man, on the other hand could have more than one child from more than one woman in the same year, if he has more than one wife. Moreover, if woman is allowed to be married to more than one man, who will be the real father of the child in case of pregnancy, and how would that be determined? It would take great effort to find out the lineage of the child.

It is only natural that a woman is jealous and protective, Allah has instilled these emotions in our hearts for a reason. If we had no jealousy, then society would be an open field and breeding ground for immorality and sin. However, one must curb the jealousy and exercise control over it such that it does not achieve reign over the person, and shadows their character. 

Hence to conclude, polygamy, as repulsive as it seems to many women, is actually a source of benefit, and a solution to many escalating problems. The rights of the women involved in a polygamous marriage are preserved, and such a marriage provides a blanket of support to numerous women who find themselves unable to find a suitable spouse. It is from the Mercy and wisdom of Allah that He has permitted such a practice, and has set out guidelines for it. As muslims, we have a duty to hear and obey, and submit with content to the laws of Allah. True submission, comes with loyal acceptance of the laws of Allah, where one’s heart is settled with the decree, and discontent finds no place to remain.