Reflections
Changing is never easy. You don’t just wake up one day, and say “I want to change”, and expect things to go that way.
Changing needs effort. It needs our commitment and focus. Looking back to the days when I started changing my life, it was an ongoing struggle. Leaving the whole “I wanna riot” scene for the “I love sunnah” crowd was a bittersweet journey.
Over the years, I have seen our muslim brothers and sisters struggle with their change. Let’s call it hijrah; as it is a hijrah from an ignorant state to a better one. It was heart breaking to see them struggle, going back and forth. I am not saying that I am successful in my hijrah, I am still progressing and struggling.
When Allah blesses you with guidance, grab it and never let it go. During this time, your iman will be tested. You either make it, or fail. These are the steps that I did.
- Learn the correct Aqeedah:
Don’t be defensive by saying “what Aqeedah? I am a muslim”. Yes, we are a muslim. But do we have a sound aqeedah? As a born muslim, I was raised with the misconception that I was born with a sound aqeedah. No, we are not. Sometimes, there are things that will shock us. For example, before understanding the correct aqeedah, I was surprised to know that I had a little liberalism and murji’ah ideology, and Pluralism was trying to get a place too.
Learn, understand and implement Tawheed Ar-Ruboobiyyah, Al-Uloohiyyah and Asma Was Sifat. Learning the correct aqeedah is the key to our hijrah. It is easier for us to accept other things in Islam after this.
- No music:
What? A bit extreme? Yes. It is time to discard those music. I know it is hard, but InshaAllah you can do it. Performing your ibadah is much easier once you stop listening to music. It is like you have shown the shaytan who is the boss. Download Quran recitations and Islamic lectures to your MP3 players instead.
- Refresh your niyyah (intention):
This is important. Most of the times, we get sidetracked. There are times when the shaytaan whispers to us, making us think just how good we are. Beware! The fitna of riyaa is so great that sometimes we don’t even realise it coming.
‘Umar b. al-Khattab narrated that the Prophet (S) said: Deeds are [a result] only of the intentions [of the actor], and an individual is [rewarded] only according to that which he intends. Therefore, whosoever has emigrated for the sake of Allah and His messenger, then his emigration was for Allah and His messenger. Whosoever emigrated for the sake of worldly gain, or a woman [whom he desires] to marry, then his emigration is for the sake of that which [moved him] to emigrate.” Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim.
- Clothings:
Once you have a sound aqeedah, you will realise that you have no problems in changing your appearance. The short hijab will be replaced by longer ones, and so on.
- Saying no to free mixing (ikhtilat)!
This means in real life and in the cyber world. No lunch together, no chatting on Facebook. It was easy on me, but hard on everyone else. My absence in my crowd lead to people alienating me and calling me names. But remember, we are doing this to please our Creator. Our hard work will prevail. InshaAllah.
‘Abdul-Wahhab bin Al-Ward narrated from a man among the inhabitants of Al-Madinah who said:
“Mu’awiyah wrote a letter to ‘Aishah, that: ‘Write a letter to advise me, and do not overburden me.'” He said: “So ‘Aishah [may Allah be pleased with her] wrote to Mu’awiyah: ‘Peace be upon you. As for what follows: Indeed I heard the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) saying: Whoever seeks Allah’s pleasure by the people’s wrath, Allah will suffice him from the people. And who ever seeks the people’s pleasure by Allah’s wrath, Allah will entrust him to the people. And Peace be upon you.'” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2414)
- Patience:
This is the time when our patience is being tested. I remember during the first few months of my hijrah, I cried a lot. There are people who will drag your Iman down. I had people spreading false facts about me, people from my past coming and trying to kill my iman, people belittling my effort in changing my life, and more. Be grateful of all the tests that Allah has blesses us with. It will bring us closer to Allah, and it will increase our iman.
“The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2396) and Ibn Maajah (4031); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
- Filter your companions:
This might be harsh. It is time to let go some of your friends and build a good support system. Let go of those friends who are more likely to drag you back to your old life, and stay close with friends who are willing to help you to change.
“A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend.” (Abu Dawood and at-Tirmidhi)
- Don’t stop!
Never ever stop learning about the deen. Make an effort to read books and articles on Islam, listen to lectures. In this age of technology, we can find the knowledge and lectures just a click away. The more we learn, the more foolish we feel we are. There are so much that we do not know.
- Steadfastness
It is the hardest things in life. With Allah’s will, we can do this. Try to follow and act upon all the sunnah that we know.
I hope this will be beneficial. What really counts are good endings, not flawed beginnings. May Allah guide us to the righteous path.
Anisah Matasim