In the name of Allah, The Creator, The Exalter, The Bestower. Whomever Allah guides, none can misguide him. And whomever is misguided, none can guide him.
One of the hardest things, when it comes to socialising, mingling and befriending people, is that sometimes we do not stand on the same ground. If a difference of opinion was necessary, I wouldn’t mind. I think I could live with that. What bothers me is when people give another opinions, on something that has been stated clearly. We like to find excuse. We look for excuses to justify our wrongdoings. More than often, these lead to us obeying and looking for approval from the creation, which in turn, results in us disobeying Allah’s law. I have been doing a lot of self-reflection, repeatedly asking myself, “Who do I fear the most?” A threat or the displeasure of a mere human means nothing compared to the wrath of The Almighty.
You know how experience leads you to self-reflection and brings you closer to Allah… Well, I am going to share few stories, from my own experience in dealing with people who provide excuse to legalise something that is forbidden in the deen. InshaAllah, let this be a lesson for us, to reflect and ponder, who do we really want to please?
Story One
One time, our ruler visited our workplace. Everyone kept telling me to offer my hand to the ruler, to shake. I refused to do so, as the ruler is a non-mahram. I heard a lot of people scrutinising me, telling me that it is halal for me to shake hand with him, as he is the ruler. Amazingly enough, everyone started becoming a scholar, giving their own fatwaa: ‘it is halal because he is a ruler, which means he has unlimited power.’ I refuted it by telling everyone that Allah is The Greatest, Allah’s rules are superior compare to any rules set by His slaves! Have we forgotten what Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam said in the hadith?
It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”
(Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Sahih al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadith is sahih.)
It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women.” (Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (4181) and Ibn Maajah, 2874; classed as sahih by al-Albaani in Sahih al-Jaami’, 2513.)
For further clarification this is the opinion of the four madhahibs :
- The Hanafi madhhab:
Ibn Nujaym said:
“It is not permissible for a man to touch a woman’s face or hands even if there is no risk of desire because it is haraam in principle and there is no necessity that would allow it.” (Al-Bahr al-Raa’iq, 8/219)
- The Maaliki madhhab:
Muhammad ibn Ahmad (‘Ulaysh) said:
It is not permissible for a man to touch the face or hand of a non-mahram woman, and it is not permissible for him to put his hand on hers without a barrier. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) never accepted a woman’s oath of allegiance by shaking hands with her; rather he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to accept their oath of allegiance by words only.” According to another report, “His hand never touched the hand of a woman, rather he would accept their oath of allegiance by words only.” (Manh al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel, 1/223)
- The Shaafa’i madhhab:
Al-Nawawi said: “It is not permissible to touch a woman in any way.” (Al-Majmoo’, 4/515.)
Wali al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said: “This indicates that the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not touch the hand of any woman apart from his wives and concubines, whether in the case of accepting the oath of allegiance or in other cases. If he did not do that despite the fact that he was infallible and beyond suspicion, then it is even more essential that others heed this prohibition. It appears from the texts that he refrained from doing that because it was haraam for him to do so. The fuqaha’ among our companions and others said that it is haraam to touch a non-mahram woman even if that is not touching parts of her body that are not ‘awrah, such as her face. But they differed with regard to looking when there is no desire and no fear of fitnah. The prohibition on touching is stronger than the prohibition on looking, and it is haraam when there is no necessity that would allow it. If it is the case of necessity, e.g. medical treatment, removing a tooth or treating the eyes, etc., if there is no woman who can do that, then it is permissible for a non-mahram to do that because it is the case of necessity.” (Tarh al-Tathreeb, 7/45, 46)
- The Hanbali madhhab
Ibn Muflih said: Abu ‘Abd-Allaah – i.e., Imam Ahmad – was asked about a man who shakes hands with a woman. He said, No, and was emphatic that it is haraam. I said, Should he shake hands with her from beneath his garment? He said, No.
Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen also favoured the view that it is prohibited, and gave the reason that touching is more serious than looking. (Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah, 2/257 )
Story Two
I was asked by a friend, “can I pluck my eyebrows?” I replied, “No”. Then came the excuse, “my husband wanted me to pluck my eyebrows. Pleasing my husband is my priority”. Again, I wasn’t aware that pleasing one’s husband is more important than obeying Allah.
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah said: “Allah has cursed the women who do tattoos and those who ask for tattoos to be done, those who ask for their eyebrows to be plucked, and the women ask for their teeth to be filed for the purpose of beautification, changing the creation of Allah.” A woman from the tribe of Bani Asad whose name was Umm Ya’qoob heard of that and she came and said, “I have heard that you have cursed so-and-so and so-and-so.” He said, “Why should I not curse those whom the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) cursed and who are mentioned in the Book of Allah?’ She said, “I have read what is between the two covers [of the Qur’an], and I did not find anything in it like what you have said.” He said, “If you have read it, have you not read that Allah says,
‘And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad) gives you, take it; and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it)’ [al-Hashr 59:7]?”
She said, “Of course.” He said, “He forbade that.” She said, “I think your wife does it.” He said, “Go and look.” So she went and looked and she did not see what she was looking for. He said, “If she had been like that, she would not be with us.” (Muslim No: 2125)
Story Three
I attended a marriage course before my wedding, as it was a must for me to be able to get married. They had an ustadh who was supposed to guide the muslimahs, on how to become a good wife. The result? I hated every session, and most of the time, disagreed with the ustadh. He talked about the necessity of wearing perfume outside of the house. His reasoning? “We do not want to smell badly around others right?” “Allah likes pretty things right?” I refuted his reasons by quoting the hadeeth of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam. He replied back, “It all depends on our niyyah. We do not have to follow everything the nabi did”. Imagine my reaction to that. We should do our best to follow the Sunnah completely!
It was narrated from Abu Moosa (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If a woman puts on perfume and passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, then she is such and such,” and he spoke sternly – meaning an adulteress. (Narrated by Abu Dawood (4173) and al-Tirmidhi (2786); classed as saheeh by Ibn Daqeeq al-Eid in al-Iqtiraah (126) and by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.)
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume and passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance is a zaaniyah.” Narrated by Imam Ahmad (19212) and al-Nasaa’i (5126); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘.
Our problem lies in who we want to please. All the stories above shows the power of the creation on our Iman. We often overlook the determination the shaytaan has to misguide us. If we look around us, we tend to overlook some things, not realising the harm it has on our Iman. For example, iktilaath on the internet. Women and men mingle freely, in the name of learning the deen. Another excuse to overlook the rules and guidelines in the deen to satisfy our nafs, and please human.
Am I saying that we can’t please the creation? La. Of course we can, but that doesn’t mean we need to compromise the religion. We still need to treat people nicely.
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, in the hadith qudsi, was that Allah, may He be blessed and exalted, said: “O My slaves, I have forbidden zulm (injustice, wrongdoing, unfairness) to Myself and I have made it haraam among you, so do not wrong one another.” (Muslim no: 2577)
But when it is against the deen, of course we need to please The Creator first. It is time for us to set our priorities right. Why the need to bend the rules in order to please the creation who has no power over us? Have we forgotten the reason why we are created? (Hint – Surah Dhaariyaat 51:56). What has been set as haraam, will remain haraam, and what has been set us halaal will remain so. No human, Allah’s servants, can alter this!
And do not say about what your tongues assert of untruth, “This is lawful and this is unlawful,” to invent falsehood about Allah. Indeed, those who invent falsehood about Allah will not succeed. (16:116)
O you who have believed, do not prohibit the good things which Allah has made lawful to you and do not transgress. Indeed, Allah does not like transgressors. (5:87)
Wallahu’alam. Allah knows best.
Anisah Matasim,
Writer, AAT