Oh those times spent in the taraweeh, in reading Quran, in hastening towards good, in refraining from evil, in striving to attain Allah’s pleasure, indeed Ramadan is a month of training. 

However, now just because Ramadan has gone doesn’t necessitate that our iman should go as well. The bad habits that we had thrown aside now need to be left out for good, our istighfar (repentance) needs to be sincere and one of its conditions is not to repeat the sinful action again and in case we slip we should again make istighfar whilst making a sincere intention of not repeating it. Brothers and sisters we should definitely increase in goodness in Ramadan and perform voluntary prayers and do lots of ibadah but we should also strive to be upright all year round. We should look at our righteous predecessors, though obviously they increased their ibadah in Ramadan, but read their seerah and you will realize that they were pious all the year round. No wonder their ranks are highly elevated and they were chosen as the forerunners of Islam. We too need to imbibe such beautiful qualities in ourselves and walk the footsteps they walked because, that, brothers and sisters is undeniably the true way to success. One such beautiful example is our Mother of the Believer’s, Maimoonah bint Al-Harith (May Allah be pleased with her). She was the aunt of Ibn Abbas and Ibn Al-Waleed (May Allah be pleased with them) and was the last wife of our Noble Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him). 

Maimoonah (May Allah be pleased with her) was valued highly for her traits like God- Fearing and nurturing good relations with all the members of her family. And this tribute was paid to her when she passed away by Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) in the words ‘By Allah! Maimoonah (May Allah be pleased with her) has passed away, she was the most Allah- fearing and nurtured the ties of kinship.’ Imagine how pious she was, for this to be said from Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) who herself was very pious and a leading woman and a teacher for the scholars to come. This also brings to our attention the importance of maintaining the ties of kinship for Allah has warned us against cutting the ties of kinship (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allah’s Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).” [Al-Ra’d 13:26] 

Does it not cause our hearts to tremor, think about it dear friends, what punishment could be worse than the curse? Islam is a religion of peace and calls for the upholding of the ties of kinship because of the great effect that this has on achieving social cohesion and perpetuating cooperation and love among the Muslims. Upholding the ties of kinship is a duty because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“… and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)…” [Al-Nisa’ 4:1] 

“And give to the kindred his due and to the miskeen (poor)…” [al-Isra’ 17:26] 

A hadith that can be quoted in this context: Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘Allah created the universe, and when He had finished, kinship (al-rahm) stood up and said, “This is the standing up of one who seeks Your protection from being cut off.” Allah said, “Yes, would it please you if I were to take care of those who take care of you and cut off those who cut you off?” It said, “Of course.” Allah said, “Then your prayer in granted.’’ (Saheeh Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 16/112). We benefit from the above great Hadith that Allah will take care of those who take care and maintain the ties of kinship and we also learn that whoever cuts the ties of kinship, Allah will cut them off. Also keep in mind the hadith: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5986 and Muslim, 2557). 

My dear friends I plead you to ponder on the above ayat and ahadith and truly think about it, is a dispute over property, land and other worldly reasons really a reason sufficient enough to cut off ties of kinship with our brothers and sisters. ‘Oh, but I try to be kind to them, yet they respond rudely, after all one has to keep their self-respect’ Seriously! Is that what we think? Then allow me to clarify The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5645). If the relationship merely involves returning favours and giving like in return for like, and not taking the first step, then this is not upholding the ties of kinship, it is only responding in kind. Some people follow the principle of giving a gift in return for a gift, and visiting in return for a visit, so if someone does not give them a gift, they do not give him a gift, and if he does not visit them, they do not visit him! This is not what is meant by upholding the ties of kinship at all, and this is not what is required by Islam. This is merely responding in kind, it is not the higher degree which Islam urges us to reach. A man said to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), “I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me.” 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot dust in their mouths. Allah will continue to support you as long as you continue to do that.” (Reported by Muslim with commentary by al-Nawawi, 16/115). Who could bear to put up with hot dust? We seek refuge with Allah from cutting off the ties of kinship.

Let’s remember Maimoonah (May Allah be pleased with her) and truly try to endeavour to keep up our kinship ties as we certainly can’t afford to face the consequences of not doing so. Maimoonah (May Allah be pleased with her) after the death of the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) lived her life calmly and peacefully, preoccupying herself with acts of worship and performing Hajj every year. May Allah from his immense mercy make us among those patiently maintain the ties of kinship. Ameen. 

Bint Ayesha,

Writer, AAT